Thermal Eye on America

…I’m fairly sure at least 10 people think I’m still under the table in the Great Hall.

Also, I have come to believe that my heritage includes at least a bit of imp.

That is all.

Al⁷

Alex⁸

Xander⁹

Lex¹⁰

Xan¹¹

Lexan¹²

⁷ e.g. Haig; Four-star general, U.S. Secretary of State 1981-1982. (back)

⁸ e.g. - Haley; Author of Roots, Collaborator on The Autobiography of Malcom X. (back)

⁹ e.g. - Harris, one of the “Scoobys” on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (back)

¹⁰ e.g. - Luthor; Tall, bald, highly intelligent supervillan, Nemesis of Superman, very evil (back)

¹¹ e.g. - Karn; Tall, bald, highly intelligent historian, Friend of Thermaleye, not overly evil (back)

¹² e.g. - Polycarbonate resin thermoplastic manufactured by General Electric, used in numerous products worldwide (unconfirmed) (back)

I just installed a plugin that should let me use one of my greatest joys in writing¹ .  I don’t have a specific use for them at the moment, but they are a necessary component for to let me write the way I think² but still allow for some semblance of clarity³.

¹ Subtitles⁴ (back)

² Disjointedly (back)

³ Aside from the content, of course (back)

⁴ Or, for those of you who prefer to use the words that actually have the meaning you are trying to convey⁵, “Footnotes”. (back)

⁵ A category I myself belong to when I’m not being inexplicably⁶ stupid. (back)

⁶ No, my use of “inexplicable” to describe my stupidity was not another example of my using a word incorrectly, wiseass! (back)

Pointless musing of the moment: DUring my time in Australia, I realized that it is absolutely impossible for me to encounter the words “Botany Bay” without hearing them said by Checkov when they discover Khan’s ship in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 

(puzzled, recognizing the name but not remembering the context)  “Botany Bay…?” (with dawning realization of how totally screwed they now are)  “Botany Bay!“

Every single time.

So, while working on an incredibly long and rambling upcoming post (detailing an incredibly long and rambling walk I took in Okinawa), I went to Google Maps to look for a specific stop on my walk.  I traced out the exact path of this walk the day I got back (16 miles round trip - go me!) (although it really ended up stopping me, since I found it neigh impossible to move the next day, but I’ll save all of that for the post on the subject).  That was two weeks ago.

Well, it turns out that some time in the past two weeks, the Satellite image for the area surrounding my hotel was updated.

On a cloudy day.

 Before, I was able to see the hotel, the parking lot, the surrounding roads, all in great detail.

Now, all I see is this:

View Larger Map

The red “B” up above is my hotel.

 They have only updated a narrow swath so far, because you canb still see the end of my walk (and how clear the image used to be.  Observe:

View Larger Map

Anyone know who I email to let them know the new images are crap?

So, I’m going to try and do a better job this time of keeping things up to date, instead of allowing another 7-year gap to somehow creep in to things.  I guess a good step in that direction is to mention that I’ve been back from my trip for about a week now.  I think I’m finally re-adjusted to the time difference.  Currently I’m sorting through my photos to get them ready for posting, and I’ll be writing up the details of the rest of the trip (and the highlights of the time since then) soon.

I hope.

Anyway, I’m back.

So, if I were to ask the above question, I’d probably get one of a few possible reactions:

1. Legal - “Um, no, that would be a Federal Crime, you idiot!”
2. Conservationist - “Sorry, we just got them off the Endangered Species list, and I’m not about to help get them back on there.”
3. Culinary - “A burger, for a large, flighted gamebird?  Seems crazy to me.  If you insist on having bald eagle, I suggest we go with a roast; or maybe smoke it on apple and cherry wood, both for the subtle, delicious flavors those smokes would give to the meat, and for the subtle, delicious taste of irony.”
4. Patriotic - “Are you kidding?  The bald eagle is a symbol of our country, how could you even think of such a thing?”

In Australia, however, they have two animals on their coat of arms, and if you were to ask for a burger made from either of them, the only question would be “and what will you have for the side?” This is my round-about way of bringing up the fact that, as I last night, I have now eaten both of the animals on the coat of arms.  The first one was Kangaroo, which I had last week in Melbourne.   I found a restaurant that specialized in traditional Italian food, and they also had kangaroo on the menu.  The rest of the food looked excellent, so I figured I’d go with a place that knew cooking in general and get my kangaroo there.  I have to say, I was very pleasantly surprised by how good it was.  I expected it to be somewhat gamey, and slightly tough, but it was neither.  It was better than a lot of steaks (um, beef steaks, that is) I have had.  Tender, not dry, and very flavorful.  I commented on this to the staff at the restaurant, and he attributed it to their supplier. 

Then, last night I was following a recommendation from one of my formerly-invisible friends (note: I’m not meaning here that he wrapped himself in bandages and wore a hat and glasses - what I mean is that I had known him from online discussion, but had not met him in person until yesterday) of a place to get crocodile pizza, an I saw that they also had BBQ Emu pizza.  Seeing my chance to complete the set, I changed my plans and went with the emu.  The pizza itself was topped with slices of emu, along with spanish onion, basil, and cherry tomatoes.  Not too surprisingly, emu tastes similar to ostrich - it’s a darker meat, and one I could imagine it drying out pretty easily if handled poorly.  This was cut in to small strips, like bits of flank steak, which were layed on top of the pizza.  

And for the record, both are meats I would definitely eat again. 

So, the good thing about my company sending me around the world for work is that they are paying to get me here, paying for my expenses, and that it does not eat in to my vacation time.  The bad thing about it, of course, is that I am in fact being sent around the world for work, and that decisions about where I will go and when are not of my making.  For example: If I had been planning a 2-week stay in Australia by myself, it would have included more time down south, or maybe a snorkling trip to the barrier reef, and certainly I would have gotten in to the outback.  Now, the thing is, I still could have covered at least one of those things if  chose to do so.  Unfortunately, it would mean checking out of a hotel, getting on a plane, flying where I was going, checking in to a new hotel, seeing it, and repeating the whole process in time to get on my plane back to L.A. in a few days.  Which, again, probably wouldn’t be so unappealing if it weren’t coming at the end of several weeks of doing exactly that every couple of days.  So, instead, in a few hours I am going to check out the hotel here in Manly (home of the game “which sign has the most amusing instance of the word ‘Manly’ “.  These can fall into categories of both “appropriate”, e.g..: 

• Manly Parasail
• Manly Bike Tours
• Manly Kyokushin Karate & Fitness
• Aloha Surf Manly Style
• Manly Blades (it’s a skate shop, but with an awesome name)

Or in to the more “Ironic” category:

• Manly Art and Framing
• Manly Laundry and Dry Cleaning
• Manly Jeweler
• Manly Secretarial Services

and, of course, the “Vaguely Homoerotic” category:

• Manly Beach Babes
• Manly Fruit Market
• Manly Bungalow

Full disclosure - I have not personally seen all of these signs, but got many of them of a Google maps search of “businesses”.  Anyway, what was I saying again?) and catch the ferry in to Sydney, where I’ll check in to another hotel (but no plane ride in between!) (and the ferry is supposed to be a great way to see the harbor), then walk around Sydney and see the sights there.  A couple days checking out Sydney, then I’ll rent a car and drive (on the left, for my first time ever) in to the mountains to do some hiking about there. Also, I need to buy some new shoes.  All of this walking around on worn-out shoes ($10 shoes at that) is not doing my feet or legs any favors, especially since I tend to fall in to a pattern of “go as far as I can, until I feel like I can’t really walk any more, then turn around (the more astute of you will see the problems with that plan.  I have a tendency to forget every time, though). 

No, I’m not about to press “Play” on Jacques Tati’s cinematic masterpiece, I just mean to say that I am done with work until my return.  I’ve spoken with a couple of locals (both business and social contacts) and sketched out the next few days, which will involve a lot of walking around looking at things (yay!).  I would write more now but it’s a beautiful day and I’m heading out for a 7 mile walk along the coast.

Ok, look, I like odd variations on common snacks as much as the next person.  In fact, I could make a pretty strong argument for me liking them more than most of the next people.  But still, Nestle needs to be stopped.  Specifically, Im referring her to the KitKat.  In America, we mostly have just the normal chocolate KitKat, with a couple of minor variations (one with caramel, one giant variation, and maybe one more).  I suspect this is because, due to a licensing agreement that predates Nestle purchasing the inventor of the KitKat, the U.S. is the one place that Hershey makes and sells the KitKat.  Apparently, Hershey has a much better idea than Nestle when to leave well-enough alone.  Nestle, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know when to stop.  

    I first became aware of the problem when I saw a post on Peter Lynn’s blog Man vs. Clown.  I’ve followed his blog for a while, and find him one of the more entertaining writers out there; I was therefore quite happy to see him writing from China about trying a few of the foods I know quite well, such as Pocari sweat, and okonomiyaki-flavored potato chips.  Then, later in that post, he said “green-tea Kit Kat really just tasted like a regular Kit Kat, except a little more synthetic.”  As it happened, I’d bought some green-tea KitKats at the airport in Tokyo the night before (green tea outside, red bean inside), and that hadn’t been my impression at all.  Still, realizing I could have just been uncritical due to my hunger at the time, I tried some again, and did find them significantly different, at least in aftertaste.  I posted a comment to this effect, then walked to the zoo (but that is a story for another time….).  On my way back, I stopped in a convenience store, and looking through the odd snacks I found the chocolate-outside, green tea inside ones he had been referring to (and yeah, they didn’t taste very different at all).  I also picked up some chocolate outside-apple inside ones which I haven’t tried yet.  I then went to a site listed on the side of the package, www.breaktown.com, and got a glimpse of some of the variety available (I have also gotten the 3rd variety of green tea KitKat, green tea both outside and inside - definitely the best of the three).  Then, here in Australia, I picked up a giant KitKat, of the “Cookie Dough” variety.  And yes, granted, it was one of the best candies I’ve ever tasted (thick wafers, cookie dough and caramel, coated in chocolate), but honestly, there’s such a thing as trying too hard.

  (anyone interested in even more varieties of KitKat can check the Wikipedia entry on them. Personally, I think that would just be encouraging them)